13. Courtesy
May 11th, 2008 by Bruce M
Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible–the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.–Virginia Satir
defined as:
1 a: courteous behavior b: a courteous act or expression…2 a: general allowance despite facts : indulgence b: consideration, cooperation, and generosity in providing something (as a gift or privilege);… also : agency, means… -used chiefly in the phrases through the courtesy of… or by courtesy of… or sometimes simply courtesy of…
Recovery has taught me how to share and spread the kindness I have received from others. I have found the power that sweetens the lives of others. Sometimes, the seemingly trivial acts I perform are the most important. Courtesy is a great example. It can be expressed different ways, such as civility, good manners, good behavior, good conduct, politeness, decency, respect for others, thoughtfulness, kindness, and consideration. No matter what I call it, courtesy is not a small thing and is not easy. Here is how Edmund Burke describes it, “Manners are of more importance than laws. Manners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, barbarize or refine us, by a constant, steady, uniform, insensible operation, like that of the air we breathe in.” Ponder these thoughts. A considerate person does not steal. A kind person does not intimidate others. A thoughtful person does not cheat. A respectful person does not hurt others, because manners and morals flow from the same principle:… the consideration for others. So, as I raise the level of courtesy that I practice in society, I help make this world a better place to live. I believe bad manners and society dysfunction are all part of the same disease. Rudeness is the imitation of strength practiced by the weak. When I am polite I am captivated with life. When I am rude I become bitter. My manners, are like the clothes I wear. It reveals what type of person I am. I need to be an example, that a strong person is kind, who reaches out and connects with others. Today I can help unite, uplift, and improve the world. Here are some ways I can practice courtesy. Whenever someone treats me kindly, I show my appreciation, and express my gratitude. I try and remember that a smile is a curved line that can straighten out many problems. I need to recognize the achievements of others, not with shallow adulation, but with sincerity and warmth. I can respect the opinions and decisions of others, even if I do not agree. I try to be a good friend by expressing good manners with true feelings and emotions. I treat others with respect by accepting where they are at in their own process of life. I can act kindly toward others without expecting anything in return. My expectations of a reward cancels out my kindness. I try to respond to rudeness with kindness. I can test my good manners by putting up with bad ones. I become more gentle in my dealings with others. I never underestimate the power of my small acts of kindness. They are the pebbles which form my solid foundation. Instead of striving to be important, it is better for me to strive to be nice.
Love and Respect, Bruce M.
