19. Compassion
June 4th, 2008 by Bruce M
The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no ticker-tape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have a potential to turn a life around. it’s overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt.–Leo Buscaglia
defined as: sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it…
Compassion is a deep caring for the pain of others, often accompanied by a desire to help. There is nothing that feels more wonderful and comforting than experiencing another’s compassionate response to our painful feelings and experiences. First and foremost compassion is one of the greatest gifts I can give to myself. When I give compassion to others but not to myself, I often end up feeling alone, burned out, and uncared for. I experienced this at two different stages of my recovery. First when I got clean, and second when I started working in the recovery field. I was so focused on helping other people first, and wanted to give them the best care that I could muster. I failed to give some of that focus of care to myself. Often times I felt unhappy, fatigued, and depleted. The truth was that I was completely out of touch with my own feelings. I was focused on meeting everyone else’s needs, disregarding my own. I believe much of my using was wrapped around having no compassion for myself, and trying to fill that inner emptiness that was the result of not taking loving care of myself. Now being clean my choices were coming from my fears and my addictive need to fill up from things outside me. I was using my caring for others and approval rather than from love and compassion for myself. A lack of compassion for myself and others causes me a lot of inner unhappiness. I began to practice and focus on making compassion my highest priority, both for myself and for others. I found myself progressing towards happiness, peace and joy more rapidly than I could ever imagine. This process has taken a lot of time and practice. Moving into compassion for myself starts with noticing my own self-judgment. Judgment is the opposite of compassion. When I judge myself, I am telling myself that I am wrong or bad for having feelings. I try to consciously open my heart to compassion for myself. When moving into compassion for others, I try to practice it in a similar way. I become aware of my anger, irritation, judgment, resentment, or resistance towards others. These negative feelings are the opposite of compassion. Once I notice these feelings, I have the choice to open to caring, understanding, and most of all compassion. Each time I am compassionate with myself and others, it becomes easier the next time. I have discovered that focusing on compassion has sustained me in my recovery, and my work. It has moved me towards the peace and joy I have always longed for. My deepest desire today is to become a better loving human being. By opening up to compassion, I access a powerful doorway to that path.
Love and Respect, Bruce M.
