21. Problem-Solving
June 8th, 2008 by Bruce M
Don’t waste your time trying to control the uncontrollable, or trying to solve the unsolvable, or think about what could have been. Instead, think about what you can control and solve the problem you can solve with the wisdom you have gained from both your victories and your defeats in the past.–David Mahoney
defined as:
1 : to find a solution, explanation, or answer for …2 : to pay (as a debt) in full…intransitive verb…: to solve something…
Much of what recovering folks do is solve problems and make new decisions about their lives. My history with that was often making problem solving and decisions a reactionary act. This was especially true when I felt “under the gun”, stressed, or short for time. Consequently, when I encountered a new problem or decision I needed to make, I would react with a decision that probably never worked before. Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. It’s easy with this approach to get stuck in a circle of trying to solve the same problem. Therefore, when I was new to recovery, I started to learn and get used to a more organized approach to problem solving and decision making. I began to view that some of my problems were divine opportunities for growth. First I had to define what my problems were. This is often where I struggle the most. I react to what I think the problem is, instead of seeking to understand more about why I think there is a problem. I need help from my support in these matters to define the exact nature of what I think the problem is. Once I have defined and identified that there is a real problem I can look at the potential of maybe solving it. It’s amazing to me how much I don’t know about what I don’t know. Therefore it’s critical to get input from other people who notice the problem and who are effected by it. With this information I can maybe find some alternatives. Brainstorming for solutions to a problem is very valuable as long as it is not just my brain that is storming. Very simply put, brainstorming is collecting as many ideas as possible, then screening them to find the best idea. It’s critical when collecting the ideas I do not pass any judgment on them. From there I can select an approach to resolve the problem. When selecting the best approach, I need to consider which approach is the most likely to solve the problem for the long term, and what is the most realistic for now. I need to ask myself what I want the situation to look like when the problem is solved. How do I know if I have made the right decision in solving the problem? Is there any success that I see in the outcome? Does it meet my expectations? Is the plan for success on schedule. I only really know if the problem is being solved with time and I need to get on with life as it is. I can only change the things I can. Another plan may be in order, or maybe it is really out of my control. The opportunity I get from this is usually that I made a plan and made the best decision I could. I need to stay open minded to new knowledge, understanding and skills. Today I don’t have to react before I act.
Love and Respect, Bruce M.
